jhannise

Dollhouse and BSG Boys

jhannise@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:16:54 GMT

Whedon writing with BSG yummies is just straight up amazing.

Lee Adama as a successful arms dealer. Hot. British accent. Rich.
(I've never seen Jamie Bamber looking so deliciously hot. BSG,m you held out on us!)

Karl Agathon. obsessed.
(And finally showing off that amazing body. Again, BSG! What is UP?)

Replace Echo with Kara Thrace and I feel some major ficcage coming on.

Help me capture and describe some of the plot bunnies!

Fic: Lena 2/6

jhannise@gmail.com — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:50:29 GMT

Title: Lena 2/6
Author: jhannise
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Speculations of LDYB pt 2
Pairing: Kara/Lee
Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be with them right now.
Summary: Fluff and happiness.

A/N Thank you to rabid1st who put up this thought in my head and then sent me a nice e-mail. And thank you to lotus79 for being simply awesome (including betaing and plot suggestions and character suggestions, did I mention awesome?) ☺ and keeping this from being a monstrosity.

(Chapter 1)

***

Over the next few months the Adama-Thrace family will develop a nice pattern with Grandpa Adama. Lena is damn proud of having "Husker" as a grandpa and happy to share her find with her best friend, Jade. The girls love having a couple of days away from daycare, being doted on by their very own grandpa. The devastation of the colonies left few families intact. A "real" grandpa is a rare treasure and Grandpa Adama, Lena, and Jade enjoy milking it for all possible positive stereotypes, and quite possibly creating a few positive traditions.

Initially, Lace balks at allowing a former Colonial military officer into their home. Her protests quickly dissolve when formal honorable discharge papers appear on the kitchen counter after one of Adama’s visits. After that incident, Lacey and Kara grow to appreciate having the help in running a household with two hyperactive children.

On the weekends, Kara and Lena drive out to the city and spend a night with Adama. Every weekend is a pleasure and makes great leaps to creating stronger bonds for a tight-knit family. Lena's hero-worship grows with each story of Husker or Starbuck's viper exploits and bribes of homemade cookies. Adama makes it a point to keep the house stocked with Kara's favorite ambrosia and Lena's weakness of homemade peanut butter cookies. Oftentimes, Kara leaves grandfather and granddaughter to bond over an afternoon as she does household shopping and unwinds in the city market. Secretly, Kara's favorite part of the weekend is when she allows herself one tumbler of ambrosia and a letter from Lee on the nights she spends at Grandpa Adama's place.

It would have been too heart-wrenchingly cruel to remove the last memory of his sons from Adama. Therefore, Kara keeps the beautiful box in the plain view through the glass display of the liquor cabinet. Inside the box, is every letter that Lee has gifted to Kara. Each letter makes Kara fall even more in love with Lee, but fear of rejection in future letters keeps her from contacting him.

The next letter to Kara is also addressed during their first year in viper training:

Cadet Kara Thrace
Dorm 552-KG
Picon HQ Flight School
(Inter-HQ mail)

Dear Cadet Thrace:

Thank you for not throwing away this letter. I want to express my most sincere apologies regarding the misunderstanding in viper simulations last week. I completely understand why you felt I was in the need of a "physical adjustment" to my misconceptions.

When I stated after the flight simulations "I can't believe you are a first year; there wasn't a single textbook maneuver," it was with the greatest respect for your skills as a viper pilot, not in sarcasm or a rebuke. I hadn't realized that "Starbuck" was your call sign and from watching numerous vid recordings of training sessions, I had thought you were a fourth year cadet or a visiting War College student. The fact you are in the same class as me was a complete surprise.

Trust me when I state I only have respect and admiration for you and for your flying. I had thought as top five percent of our class I would be among the first to be allowed in the simulators and had not realized you were already granted that honor on a regular basis. Additionally, I had never realized such unique and beautiful flying maneuvers could be discovered without having actual airtime. Your flying is like poetry in motion. If I may be so bold as to quote one to you; Kataris' Carmen 4 springs to my mind:

And the boat denies that the shore of the threatening
Adriatic denies this, or the Cyclades Islands
The famous island of Rhodus, wild Thracian
Rough sea of Marmara, Pontus bay
Where it later a small boat was previously
The woods having much foliage; for in the Cytorian ridge
With its whistling? leaves often produce whistling
Pontiac Amastris and box bearing Cytorus.
The boat said that these things have been
Well known to you from its earliest days
He said that he stood on top.
You have dipped oars into your sea
And then, to have carried his master
Through so many raging seas, whether a breeze was
Calling from the left or from the right
Or if at the same time a favorable breeze fell upon each foot
And he says neither any prayers to the Gods of the shore
Was done by him, when the boat was coming.

At any rate, I will not continue to expound upon my admiration for the form and grace of your flying lest you think I am being mocking in my tone. I do not wish to be too forward, but if you have read this far then I would like you to consider spending some time with me. I know that we do not circulate amongst the same cliques, but perhaps you would be willing to get to know me by playing pyramid or allowing me to buy you lunch as an apology for last week’s incident.

Sincerely yours,
Cadet Lee Adama

Kara can't help but laugh herself silly at the thought of a young Lee Adama bumbling poetry at her. The altercation in the viper simulation building was Kara's first memory of Lee Adama. Seeing the uptight Apollo coming towards her while yelling at her for being "non-textbook” had caused her fist to meet his face at an alarming speed. Kara had been slightly regretful of having decked the really cute, but anal Adama since he avoided her like the plague after the incident and all through flight school training. In the end, Kara reasoned that she might as well have hastened the estrangement between the two of them.

In flight school, Kara had very few officer candidate friends. Kara mainly hung out with enlisted personnel. It was rare for people of her background to make it to the officer track. High schools in the crime-ridden and gang heavy Delphi neighborhoods were not known for academics. On the polar opposite side, Lee Adama hung out with the snobbiest of the snobs: the military students who would skip OCS for War College and enjoy lording their superior placement among the other officer candidates.

Kara's group of friends worked extra shifts on holidays at the local businesses, while Lee's group went on skiing trips or summer resorts on other colonies. Kara and her friends were the ones who waited on Lee and his friends at local bars, gas stations, restaurants and cleaners. Kara Thrace loved Kataris, but Kataris was for people who had family lineage and enough cubits for living expenses. At age nineteen, someone exposing Kara and her love of Kataris would have spent a night in sickbay.

It is a good letter, enough to send Kara to sleep with a smile. Apparently, Lee Adama has always secretly known that she is the better viper pilot.

***

The next week flies by in a happy blur, as both Kara and Lena can’t wait for the weekend. Grandpa Adama has finagled an old Hornet to take Lena up in the air.

"I'm going flying." Lena sings for the entire ninety-minute car trip to Grandpa Adama’s.

Usually, the racket would have caused Kara to claim a headache and threaten to turn the car around, but she remembers her first time in the sky. If her daughter has Kara's love of flying, even an iota of it, then this is going to be the best day of Lena's life. Additionally, Kara is eagerly anticipating an entire day to relax and read a few letters while the other two are at the airstrip.

Adama is already outside of the house and ready with his car keys when they pull into the driveway.

"Grandpa, let's go flying," wails a blonde missile that goes straight from Kara's car to buckling herself in Adama's passenger seat.

"Like mother, like daughter," chuckles Adama as he pulls Kara into a hug.

Giving Adama a brief kiss on the cheek, Kara begins to plot how to spend her afternoon. "It's good to see you, sir. I'm going to do nothing but lie on the couch until you two get back. A nap sounds amazing."

Waving a final goodbye to the duo, Kara enters the house and sets down for a nap in the spare room when the phone rings.

"Adama residence," Kara speaks into the receiver, thinking it is Liriel from down the street that bakes all the cookies for Lena and Bill.

"Kara, is that you?" Lee's shocked voice can be heard on the static-filled line.

Moments of Oh Gods, Oh Gods, Oh Gods and Kara is left without anything to say… despite having hashed out this conversation in her mind a thousand times. Clearing her throat, Kara scrambles to reply to Lee.

"Oh, yeah. It's me, Kara," Kara haltingly speaks into the handset.

There’s a long pause over the line as if Lee is trying to find the best way to continue the conversation, he does NOT want her hanging up on him.

"Are you good? Have you been tak- How are you?" Lee's voice continues, "I didn't know you were in touch with Dad."

"I'm good. He's out with –" Kara coughs over her mistake, "He's out at the moment; did you want me to take a message?"

"No, ironically I was just calling to see if he had found you yet." Lee laughs nervously, "I had a gift that he was supposed to give you."

"I got it." Kara's eyes widen, Frakking Lords of Kobol, she did not just say that into the receiver. "The box from Zak, right?"

Kara desperately searches the room for something to run her head into to pass out and avoid continuing this conversation.

"Uh, um, yeah." Lee's awkwardness is felt over the line.

The line stays silent for almost nine minutes, Kara knows because she is staring at the clock on the wall.

"Anyway, so I should get back to commanding the fleet and all…" Lee gives her an opening.

"Lee, are the notes… I mean are the letters…." Kara has to know, "Frak, do you still –um- feel that way?"

"Yes." His reply is simple and filled with conviction.

"Come home, then. I have a surprise for you." Kara is firm, Kara is strong, and Kara is wincing at what she has just said to Lee.

"I can't, at least not for a few months," Lee is hesitant.

"Worth the wait," Kara laughs nervously.

"I have to go," Lee says plaintively, "But command really does need-"

"It's okay, I understand. I'll be here when you get planet-side," Kara says softly.

"Okay. I miss you." Lee is stalling.

"I miss you too. Bye." Kara hangs up the phone with a smile on her face.

Walking over to the box, Kara counts the number of letters. There are fourteen sealed letters, all of which she now knows will profess love in some manner. That's three to four months of love to tide her over until Lee Adama comes home.

Figuring now is as good a time as any; Kara grabs her usual tumbler and another letter to mull over.

Cadet Kara Thrace
Dorm 215-ML
Picon HQ Flight School
(Inter-HQ mail)

Dear Starbuck,

I figure that by now if I try for you at all, you'll deck me. After all you did hit my friends: Mike, Alan, Kevin, and Edmund when they tried various forms of getting to know you. Alan - who you hit repeatedly for calling you a "piece of cute ass." If it makes you feel any better, after you kneed him in the nuts, he couldn't pee easily for months. Personally, I feel extremely gratified every time you turn down someone that's not me. I find this gratification especially satisfying when you invoke violence. I know better than them, because I have been watching/stalking you for three years now.

I can't believe I even thought of calling you, "Ms. Thrace." You would have made me eat my tie, wouldn't you? Anyway, I'm writing this note because I have to get out the feelings I have for you in some form, and calling another girl "Kara" or "Starbuck" in bed is bad taste. You do something sick and twisted to me, Kara. I date women in flowery, chiffon dresses with soft-spoken ways. You are violent and arrogant, and I think I'm rapidly falling in love with you. At least I'm smart enough not to say it to you, I'm pretty sure I'd get a black eye at best.

I have a plan. In the rest of this year and next, I am going to gain your attention without speaking to you directly- I must admit, I am a little worried about how much violence you can dole out. In my “stalking” observations, the expression on your face after flying is similar to other women after receiving diamonds, chocolates, or a real orgasm. I am going to be the best damn viper pilot I can be and learn from your unorthodox ways. I am going to make you feel like we frak in the sky and maybe then you'll give me a shot outside of the cockpit. I, Lee Adama, am going to finally have your attention and I will do whatever it takes to get you.

Thinking I Might Love You,
Lee

***

Kara wakes to the slamming of car doors as Lena and Adama arrive home. After reading Lee's letter, Kara laughed herself silly at all the times she had turned down his friends. Lee's friends really cute and well worth a frak, but she hadn't accepted any offers because she instinctively knew it would decrease the chances of having an encounter with Apollo. Lee is right that Kara would have decked him if he had talked about relationships and love, but Apollo was a hot thing in flight school and Kara was very much interested in getting to know him during some quality rack time.

Unfortunately, the stakes have moved much higher than a quick bounce. Again, Kara wonders what possessed her to in invite Lee home. It was an impulsive move to say the least. However, as Lena and Adama’s voices grow louder- Kara knows she made the right decision.

"Mommy, I flew today!" Lena's shriek pierces Kara's inner musings.

"That she did," Adama agrees with a slightly guilty tone.

"You mean you flew or you FLEW?" Kara's suspicions begin to grow at the really happy look on Lena’s face.

Lena's backward glance at Grandpa Adama is enough confirmation.

"You let my daughter fly the plane!?!" Kara's outrage is building momentum fast.

"It was a training plane on a field strip, Kara," Adama sheepishly admits, "I had complete control in case anything did go wrong. I would never endanger my granddaughter. The war is over; we don’t need any more sacrifices.”

Kara's anger melts away to give way to her fear. It is true; Adama would never endanger Lena. Kara sees the truth in Adama's words, but she can only sit heavily on the couch and hyperventilate between her knees.

After a minute, Lena's head comes peeking up from the floor. "Mommy, it was the bestest thing in the world. Please don't be mad."

In a swoop, Kara has Lena tucked tightly in her arms. "I'm not mad. Well, not at you." A pointed look is thrown in the direction of Grandpa Adama. "You just aren't old enough, sweetie. We lost your Uncle Zak because he wasn't ready. What if you didn't hit the thrusters with enough force or you miscalculated when you were steering?"

"You never stop worrying about a child," Adama's hand is on Kara's cheek, "No matter how old they get, or if they have children of their own. Now you know how I felt when you ran off to Caprica and when Lee took out that tylium refinery."

A wistful smile is all Kara can give as she carries Lena into the kitchen to start dinner.

"Who's Lee, mommy?" asks Lena. And the world freezes.

After an eternity, Kara has to clear her throat. "Lee is your daddy, honey."

"But I thought I didn't have a dad. I thought he was dead," Lena answers with confusion.

Kara's throat constricts tightly at the thought of Lee dying. "No, baby. Where did you get that idea?"

"Most of the kids in daycare don't have daddies or mommies, because they died in the attacks." Lena attempts to push herself onto the kitchen counter, "I just thought mine did too."

Adama comes into the kitchen and his eyes are suspiciously bright.

"No, Lena, your dad is my son. Do you want to see some pictures of him?" Adama takes Lena from Kara's hold.

"Is he a viper pilot?" Lena asks, before a more important question comes to mind. "Is he a viper pilot like mom?"

"He's the Commander of the Pegasus," Kara replies while she follows the duo into the living room.

"Oh," Lena's disappointment is evident. "I want a viper pilot for a dad."

"Oh he can fly vipers. Your daddy used to be Galactica's CAG." Suddenly, Kara can't wait for her daughter to meet Lee. "Even before I was the CAG for Galactica."

"He can't be a better pilot then you, you're Starbuck!" Lena is appalled at the suggestion of such an idea. "You are the best viper pilot ever, Mommy."

"Lee just wanted to be the better pilot and we let him think that," Adama gives Kara a conspirator's wink as he returns with a photo album.

Scrunching up her nose and cocking her head to the side, Lena contemplates this idea for a few minutes. "Like how we pretend to like Aunt Lacey's food even though it's real bad to make her feel good?"

"Exactly like that." Kara and Adama laugh at the analogy.

"Oooooh, is that Lee? He's handsome." Lena is analyzing each picture quickly.

"No sweetie, that's Uncle Helo. I'll be sure to pass the message along." Kara is laughing into her hand; apparently her daughter also inherited her taste in men!

"That's your daddy," says Adama, pointing to a candid photo of Kara, Lee, and other pilots on the flight deck.

"Oh." The disappointment in Lena's voice is clear to everyone in the room.

"You don't think he's handsome enough?" Kara teases, praying her daughter will accept Lee.

"No, he's handsome…" Lena trails off. "I don't want a daddy."

Kara’s heart stops, and Adama is looking at her accusingly.

"Why don't you want a daddy, Lena?" Kara asks in a slightly shaky voice.

"Because." Lena is back to looking at pictures of Helo and the rest of the crew.

"Because why?" Kara tries to cajole the information out of Lena.

"I can't tell you it's a secret." Lena responds solemnly, but glances at Grandpa Adama.

"I'll go call for delivery. I doubt we'll have time to cook tonight if we are going to look at these pictures." Kara's smile is overly bright as she heads to the kitchen, hoping that Bill can get Lena to open up. It had always been Kara and Lena, and it hurts to be left out for the first time.

"Lena, can you tell me now?" Grandpa Adama asks his blonde angel.

"Mom has a picture of this man in her room." Lena's voice is a whisper, "Every time she looks at the picture, she cries.”

"Do you think your dad makes your mom sad?" Adama tries to figure out a delicate way to approach the situation.

"He looks at her like he’s mad." Lena's voice is a whisper. "I don’t want someone who would be mad at my mom and make her sad.”

Adama gives a huge sigh and glances towards the sky for the Gods to help him out. Picking up the photo album, he flips to a picture of Lee staring at Kara with a dazed look.

“He likes her too much,” Adama whispers to Lena. “He has trouble showing it. And your mom has trouble understanding it. But they love each other very much.”

Lena gives her grandpa a very skeptical look before going back to the pictures.

As Kara walks into the living room, eyes suspiciously bright, Lena looks for a way to cheer her mother up.

"You look like a princess dressed up, Mommy!" is the first exclamation out of Lena's mouth.

"And your daddy looks like a prince," Kara adds, seeing the picture they are looking at.

"Those are just dress grays.” Lena's mind is quick.

The next few hours are spent reminiscing over old photos and telling Lena the corresponding stories. It is hours past Lena's regular bedtime before she drops off to sleep.

“We lost so many good people.” Kara’s voice is low as she traces over photos of lost pilots.

“Thank the Lords of Kobol that you weren’t in command.” Adama’s reply is heavy with loss.

“I told him to come home.” There is no doubt that “he” is Lee from Kara’s tone.

"What changed your mind?" Adama's delighted smile could probably be used to beacon interplanetary ships.

"He called." Kara hesitates. "I told him to come home. She'll be a nice surprise."

"Lee will be delighted." Adama pauses before asking, "Did he tell you he loves you?"

"No," Kara replies, feeling a smile begin to creep upon her face, "But I know he does love me."

There's a laugh as Adama gets up and retires to his quarters. Moving towards the liquor cabinet, Kara carefully opens it and the box to pick up an extra letter; she might as well treat herself today.

The next letter is from their fourth and last year of viper training:

Cadet Kara Thrace
Dorm 215-ML
Picon HQ Flight School
(Inter-HQ mail)

Dear Starbuck,

At this point, I realize I’m never going to send you these letters- so I’m going to be candid in my ambrosia induced ramblings to you.

I heard you are in hack for punching out Cadet Tills for saying women can't fly vipers. Personally, I think it was unjust of you to beat on the disabled. It’s obvious that the guy has vision problems. All the flight classes were shown your simulation run last week. It was an “excellent example” according to the flight instructor of what to do in evasive flight while engaging in low terrain combat. I find that a high compliment, given that the design of the run was a non-combat training program. It would have been hard to miss the huge STARBUCK on the lower right hand side naming the callsign of the pilot starring in the simulation.

Is it wrong that your flying turns me on? To the point that I want to grab you and kiss you and make you notice me?

I'd say thrash him until he ends up in the sick bay, but Alan and I did that already. I told your good friend, Alan, that Tills insulted my woman. I had to make up a few facts, like my woman is actually a civilian and the relationship is all secretive because of religious Gemonese parents. Good thing Alan likes to start a fight more then he likes to ask questions. You are a bad influence on me, this is the first time I've lied since I was six and blamed my brother for breaking my father's model ship. At least in the end, I feel it was justified, since you will eventually be my woman.

I'd help bail you out of hack, but I'm pretty sure you don't know who I am at this point in time. I still haven't been able to catch your attention in the sky. Plus, Alan says the last time you decked him (a month ago) you said, "All you rich, pretty boys are annoying and the same." I'm even tempted to get thrown in hack to finally get the chance to bump into you, but that would be the end of going to War College. I don't understand why you didn't apply to War College; I'll miss you a lot. Funny, haven't talked to you in person since first year… but I'll miss you.

Yours eternally,
Lee

Kara doesn't know why every letter from Lee leaves her sides aching from laughter. Kara can barely remember Cadet Tills; he washed out after she made it a point to pair up with him and try to beat his scores by a factor of ten. Kara could usually outscore him by only a factor of seven or eight, but it was nice to have goals. Lee was right not to let her know about his "white-knight" attempts. It wouldn't have gone over well then and it won’t go over well now.

Kara feels a pang of sadness at the thought of Alan. Lee's friend, Alan, spent a full four years of flight training trying to get into her bunk and his persistence despite repeated physical injuries had eventually earned Kara's respect. Of Lee’s entire clique, Alan was the only one of Lee's group to have enough of a personality to spend some time in hack- which meant he went to OCS instead of War College. Alan and Kara became good drinking buddies at OCS with an awkward -frak that ended up with her being painfully dumped on the floor, and a rushed explanation of "I can't, because I have a friend who would kill me if we did this." At the time, Kara didn’t give it much thought- it was a moment that occurred after closing out a bar. Alan was a good and loyal friend, who was stationed on Battlestar Columbia when the worlds.

The bittersweet memories combined with the ambrosia lulled Kara into a sleep filled with sweet dreams of flying with Lee and Lena.

Prequel. Belly of the Beast

jhannise@gmail.com — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 03:03:43 GMT

I've decided to post these as snippets, and then send them over to beyond_insane as a huge prelude to Belly of the Beast. I hope people like them, please R&R before they go to beyond_insane.

½ a month before the disappearance of Kara Thrace.

Helo is cautious of approaching the Admiral. Bill has been a changed man, since the news of Anders being revealed, Starbuck’s pregnancy, and the subsequent murder of Anders.

“Sir, Can I talk to you for a minute, sir?” Helo asks with a formal precision.

“What is it Captain Agathon?” The Admiral asks on autopilot, his mind working out a thousand different scenarios dealing with his daughter in Pegasus’ brig.

“Sir, I feel that it would be a good idea for Sharon and Starbuck to share a cell. It would require having fewer marines on shift at all times, we are already thin in the ranks- especially for marines.” Helo places his plan in logical and calm terms.

“No.” the Admirals simple, but certain answer is eerily calm.

“Why not, sir? I feel that it would help morale for marines to be able to have more off time, sir.” Helo wants to press gently, just enough to know what is wrong with his current tactic.

Admiral Adama slowly takes off his glasses and places them on the CIC counsel. The staff is trying to look disinterested, but every ear is straining to hear the conversation that is about to occur. Admiral Adama slowly and purposely turns to fully face Captain Agathon. “I see through your plan, you are trying to increase the quality of life for both of them by breaking the solitude. I do not want them having an increased quality of life. I need Starbuck to make the right decision so we can bring her home.”

Helo knows now is the time to back off, he has pushed his luck and received a gold mine of information. Snapping off a salute, Helo steps out of the CIC to consult with Sharon regarding the new information. The Admiral still wants Kara home on Galactica.

It was such a surreal sight as the marines came storming into the pilots rec room, violently taking Sam into custody and having Kara being violent to those taking her into custody. The panic, pain, and fear on Kara’s face when hearing the charges was a moment that has haunted his dreams. Helo knows his love for Kara Thrace is unconditional, and with a similar certainty- Helo knows that Kara is in danger on the Pegasus. Perhaps they could have Sharon and Kara switch cells- the thought of leaving Sharon on Pegasus has a creepy feel, but he knows Lee would prevent anything brutal from happening to Sharon.

Unfortunately, each encounter Helo has with Lee, he is very disturbed that it is clearly transparent that Lee is rapidly descending towards the psychotic as he constantly obsesses and revels in his hate of Kara Thrace. Although Sam was supposed to be alive- to interrogate and gain information on the cylons- it seems that he “accidentally” died while in custody aboard the Pegasus. It would have seem less scandalous if it weren’t for the state they found his body; it had been beaten with a savagery that made most nauseas at the very sight of the pictures. A mob mentality would have been less worrisome, but rumor had it- only Commander Adama was in the room when Sam went from being in perfect health to a painful, prolonged, and bloody demise. Feeling a spike of worry for Kara, Helo quickens his pace to the Galactica brig.

Fic: Lena 1/6

jhannise@gmail.com — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:30:17 GMT

Title: Lena 1/6
Author: jhannise
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Speculations of LDYB pt 2
Pairing: Kara/Lee

Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be with them right now.

Summary: Fluff and happiness. (not my strong suits.)

A/N Thank you to rabid1st who put up this thought in my head and then sent me a nice e-mail. And everyone who has encouraged me to repost- three years later- that is serious flattery. (Anyone want to beta?)

This is a rewrite of an OLD fic that has had some requests. I made Lena older, and tinkered a bit here and there. AU - the Fleet has found Earth, and it’s populated. Most of the Colonials have gone to the surface and there is a Fleet presence in orbit around Earth.

It’s a gorgeous day as Kara deeply inhales and looks about the scene before her. A bright and sunny day coupled with a fresh breeze is still a deeply appreciated blessing after years in space. The marketplace is pulsing with life as shoppers peruse the open air stalls. Glancing at her watch, Kara realizes she only has about twenty minutes to complete the shopping before the others will be in search of her. Shifting the shopping satchel from her right to left shoulder while picking up her pace, Kara’s stride is broken by an exclamation in the crowd.

"Captain Thrace?" comes a startled voice from several feet behind Kara.

Kara is hesitant to turn around to the floating voice. It’s been a long time since she has been “Captain Thrace” and she is happy with her current life. Figuring that seven years was enough time for being on the run, she pastes on a happy face and turns around to face the speaker.

"Doc Cottle! How are you?" genuine enthusiasm reflects in Kara's voice as spies Galactica's former doctor staring at her in shock.

"I'm well, and you seem to be keeping healthy.” The gruff doctor replies while eyeing her up and down for any obvious injuries or missing limbs. “I didn’t think you could stay away for so long, let alone leave vipers due to anything less than a full lobotomy.”

“Didn’t think I could stay away from vipers with just a frontal lobotomy?” Kara teases.

“I was under the impression you had one many years ago, or that all those brawls had done an equally effective job.” Cottle grunts while looking at her with curiosity, he can almost see a glow around Kara. “And I know you tend to be snarkier then this outside of my sick bay. What brought upon the changes, Captain Thrace?"

"A few changes here and there," Kara grants Doc Cottle one of her mischievous half smiles.

"Good. That's good to hear. Can an old colleague buy you a cup of coffee?" Doc Cottle gestures towards the small cafe of one of the stores ringing the marketplace.

It had been a long time since Doc Cottle had randomly met anyone from Galactica- and even longer since anyone had heard from Kara Thrace. The good doctor was quite curious as to what trouble Kara Thrace has caused on Earth.

"Sure, but we should drop the pretense of titles since I haven’t been in the service for years now." Kara responds with a slight deprecating smile. “I’m sure Lee has been rejoicing at that fact.”

It was surprising to hear Kara speak Lee Adama's name without bitterness. Doc Cottle is shocked, he'd honestly think that perhaps cylons had performed a full lobotomy on Kara Thrace. After getting to Earth, Lee Adama had immediately attempted to ground Kara Thrace. Commander Adama had cited “medical reasons” with regard to Lieutenant Thrace’s previous knee injuries as the basis of his report.

Needless to say, it provided Doc Cottle with a front row seat to watching Starbuck getting charged with “Sriking a superior asshole.” It was an interesting fight that lasted a better part of a week, since they had to wait for Starbuck to finish her brig time before they could continue the argument. It was great entertainment for the entire crew, the entire drama that played out before their eyes culminating with Starbuck’s shouting declaration that she would, “Quit the frakking military, if you want me gone that badly.” Instead of inflicting further bodily harm on Lee Adama. Surprisingly, Kara actually went through with her resignation and disappeared onto Earth’s surface.

Doc Cottle is careful to keep his musings about Kara’s bizarre behavior to himself as the two people maneuver to find an empty table at the crowded café. The last thing he wants to do is to spook Kara from any further conversations, and he realizes that he is looking forward to catching up with her.

"What are you up to these days, Doc?" Kara asks while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Pediatrician." comes the short and gruff answer, as Kara chokes on her coffee.

"Really?" a blazing smile appears on Kara's face, "How's your case load?"

"Full enough." Doc Cottle answers, "At least babies are too young to know better than to complain- unlike viper pilots."

"I see your bedside manner has improved drastically with the finding of Earth." teases Kara.

"Not that I care much, but what happened to you?" Doc Cottle fixes Kara with a serious gaze, "Never thought you'd cut off the Old Man or leave flying or be this...."

"Calm? Happy?" Kara supplies the words, but seems to take a perverse joy of Doc Cottles flustered state.

"Effervescent." smiles Doc Cottle indulgently at Kara's joy.

There are a few minutes of companionable since, as Kara seems to be contemplating a serious situation. Doc Cottle is about to change the subject, when Kara suddenly waves her wrist at Cottle with a flourish. "You should check my pulse."

"What? Why?" starts the confused Doc Cottle.

"Go ahead, check it." Kara continues to wave her wrist in front of Doc Cottle's face until he gives in and checks her pulse.

“I’m actually beginning to think you have been replaced by a skin job. Never thought I'd see the day where Starbuck wants a check-up," grumbles Doc Cottle as he keeps time while counting heartbeats, "Your pulse is fine."

Kara simply smiles gleefully and states, "I’m going to take advantage about how serious you are regarding doctor-patient confidentiality. And let you in on a little secret."

Before Doc Cottle can even get a word in edgewise, Kara starts acting like her usual crass self- turning in her seat, Kara shouts out "Lena!" loudly enough to be heard across half the marketplace.

Almost immediately, a head of blond pigtails, bangs, and sapphire eyes comes running full force to their table from the throng of people. "Yeah, mom?"

In a blink of an eye Kara has the toddler on her lap and is wetting a napkin. Doc Cottle is still trying to recall the last thirty seconds, as Kara wipes her daughter's face of possible chocolate stains. The child is fidgety as Lena plays with the straps of her overalls before turning her attention to the man.

"I want you to meet mommy's friend, this is Doc Cottle, and we served on Galactica together." Kara says while avoiding looking at the doctor by looking at Lena.

"Cool!" breathes Lena as her eyes light up in interest, "Did you fly vipers too?"

"No, young lady. I was your mother's doctor." Doc Cottle is torn between mild shock and surprised amusement.

"Oh." Lena's attention towards Doc Cottle is significantly reduced upon hearing his answer. She looks back towards the direction, from which she came, "Can I go back to playing with Jade?"

"I see she inherited more from you then just impatience and blond hair." Doc Cottle interjects while eyeing the child with increasing amusement.

"Yeah, I want both of you to stay close to Aunt Lacey." Kara says before depositing Lena back on the ground.

Lena is primed to take off when Kara says, "Forgetting something?"

Turning around Lena pipes in a well rehearsed, but passionate voice, “Vipers are so much better then Raptors.”

“And?” intones Kara with a quirked eyebrow at Lena.

Rolling her eyes, Lena whines, "I'm six and too old for this mom," but leans over and gives a quick kiss to Kara's cheek before scampering into the marketplace.

A moment of silence descends upon the small table, as Doc Cottle and Kara struggle on how to break the silence.

"You’ve changed. Motherhood has been known to do that." Doc Cottle states with wry amusement.

"Don't take offense that she just ran off, she's only interested in engineering and vipers." Kara says a little too nonchalantly, eyes fixed as she watches her daughter join Aunt Lacey.

"Does Adama realize he has a grand-daughter?" Doc Cottle's voice is just as casual, he knows that the Old Man has no idea. He’s trying to goad her into revealing what has been going through her head.

"No, let's talk and walk. If I don't finish the grocery shopping, Lace will kill me for sticking her with both of the kids." Kara motions for Doc Cottle to follow and he can recognize the nervous energy but is willing to play her game.

"Alright, strolling a marketplace with a beautiful, young woman can definitely be a way to spend the afternoon." Doc Cottle responds with a hint of charm, trying to remove some of the tension from the air.

Kara flashes Doc Cottle a grateful smile as she gets up to throw away the empty coffee cups.

They walk in silence for a few minutes before Doc Cottle resumes the conversation.

"Anyone else from the Fleet know?" Doc Cottle begins with an easier line of questioning.

"If you mean the military, yes and no. Lace was a marine on Pegasus when I was CAG; she was pregnant and needed help "disappearing"- apparently Cain wasn’t too fond of working mothers. No one else knows where I am located, let alone… and they definitely don’t know about Lena. The four of us live outside of Pleistus, it’s a nice area- very quiet. I draw schematics for a small architectural firm and she clerks at the local school, we keep a low profile- it’s not a particularly Colonial friendly area." Kara's sideways glance is not lost on Doc Cottle.

Sighing and stopping in the middle of the crowded marketplace , Doc Cottle turns towards Kara to directly face her. "I won't tell anyone. If you don't want Lee to know, I can respect that. The Old Man and I served together a long time and he’s a good man- he deserves to know. Adama is back, planet side. I know it would mean a lot to him to see you. And you with her, hell, it'd do him a lot of good."

Kara fixes her attention on her hands before she blinks and looks up at him, "No one's that stupid. It’s obvious that Lena has his eyes."

"Kara, I’m surprised you’re not coming up with a smirk and a smart-ass answer.” Doc Cottle fixes her with a serious gaze. “If you don’t want anyone to know - why did you tell me about Lena?"

Kara pauses and seems uncertain if she wants to give Doc Cottle a straight answer. "It gets lonely; the Fleet was all I had for a long time..." Kara trails off.

"Go, see him. If you don’t want Lee to know- just make that clear and use that little one to be a bribe. A grand-daughter will be a good bargaining chip if you want to keep him quiet." Doc Cottle advises Kara to help her reconcile with Adama.

The spell is broken when shrieks of "Mommy" and "Aunty Kar" pierce the air as two munchkins hurtle at breakneck speed towards Kara. Doc Cottle doesn't want to press his luck, so he smiles and waves at the former viper pilot before walking into the crowd.

It takes almost two months before Kara and Lena find themselves on the front porch of William Adama’s house. Panicky at the last second, Kara feels as if her mouth is full of cotton balls as she checks over Lena and their appearances before signaling their arrival. Pretending to smooth down the invisible wrinkles in Lena's corduroy dress, Kara takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. It felt like an eternity as the footsteps came towards the door and the heavy oak door reveals William Adama.

"Kara?" Adama's voice is barely above a whisper, afraid that a breath will shatter the image.

"And Lena!" chimes a voice from below refusing to be ignored.

Adama can barely tear his eyes away from Kara's tremulous smile to stoop and see mini-Kara at his doorstep. "And who do we have here?"

"I'm Lena." Apparently that should be enough of an explanation, as Lena cocks her head to the side. "You look like a grandpa. I think that grandpas always have cookies.”

There’s a slight pause before a familiar slanted smile is aimed in his direction, “Can I have a cookie?"

Adama can barely process the all information that has come in the last two minutes. It had been a long time since he had hoped to find Kara Thrace on his doorstep. Her absence had near broken his heart, and Adama can feel the beginning of a mending heart at seeing Kara on his doorstep. It was too much to even ponder the fact that Kara has a brightly blue-eyed daughter.

Gathering his thoughts and feelings, Adama smiles down at the blond child and ushers both ladies into the house. Kara has turned bright red and is possibly choking at the embarrassment of Lena’s shameless maneuvering.

"Now you know how I felt for years as your CO – the statements that would come out of your mouth were usually much more profane or tactless." Adama’s voice holds a trace amount of gloating as he whispers into Kara's ear before leading the way to the pantry.

Adama has to stop every few minutes to process the events that are occurring. It has been a long time since he had hoped to see Kara again. Kara is back. Kara is happy. Kara has a child. It seems that there is a possibility that might he might have a newly discovered grandchild. The emotions are threatening to undermine his composure, but Bill reminds himself to hold himself together. An overly emotional reaction could easily send Kara Thrace into hiding and he has to avoid that at all costs.

Eventually, the stash of cookies is distributed and it seems the most natural thing to lead Kara, Lena, and their cookies to the living room. After he gets the girls settled, Bill can’t help but take in the picture before him. Apparently, the heavy wood walls and dark green carpet needed a splash of gold to make the living room a happier place.

Apparently, now that Lena has accomplished her original goal of cookies- there is only one question on her mind. “Did you fly vipers?”

Adama can feel the smile creep upon his face as he smiles in pride and good humor, “Let me tell you about the tales of the great viper pilot, Husker.”

Each telling of a story holds the rapt attention of Lena, until she realizes a great flaw in the stories. “Where’s Starbuck in these stories?”

Oddly, Kara has been quiet throughout the afternoon, but starts a bit at hearing her call sign. Bill leans over to whisper in Lena’s ear. “Starbuck is the hero of the Second Cylon War, she never flew with Husker.”

Lena seems unfazed by the comment as she begins to tell this Mr. Adama about how Starbuck is the best viper pilot/hero ever. And then she continues on about how she will be the best viper pilot ever.

Eventually the stories and sugar high crash causes Lena to become sleepy, Kara sits her in front of the vidscreen of her favorite colonial cartoon and the two adults gain some relative privacy.

Adama has Kara wrapped in a hug before she can say a draw a breath; "It's so good to have you home, Kara. I’ve missed you."

Overcome, Kara attempts blink back tears, as she finally knows she made the right decision. Life had been tough for Kara, but at this moment she finally realizes that family makes things a lot easier on all members. Lena deserves having a grandpa, especially one as amazing as William Adama.

Easing out of the hug, Kara sits down on the edge of an armchair and prepares herself for the questions. "Hit me with the questions, Admiral."

Adama fixes Kara with a long look before turning to pour some ambrosia. "No need for titles, Lena would be my granddaughter regardless of her connection to Lee."

Adama hands the tumbler to Kara and seats himself before continuing, "You may not be my daughter by blood or marriage, but you have been my daughter in spirit and heart since we met on that airfield."

“How about I try for Bill, at least for right now?” Kara offers as a compromise.

"That will work, Kara." Adama's smile is gentle and understanding, "I have no desire to replace your father, just know that you are my daughter regardless."

Taking a steadying breath, Kara smiles and brushes away the tears. "Lee doesn't know, I mean… he doesn't know about Lena."

"It's obvious that he doesn’t know. None of us knew where you were…” there is sad resignation to Adama’s voice that causes Kara to feel twinges of guilt. Adama takes a moment before plunging into the heard of the conversation, “Did you know when you left?”

Kara fidgets with a cookie, “I didn’t know- it was only after I thought I was allergic to all the food on Earth, before I realized it was morning sickness.”

An awkward silence stretches, before Adama offers an olive branch. “It’s obvious she has your looks and personality, but she does have the same eyes as Lee and his mother."

"I guess it’s pretty obvious, Doc Cottle said that when I ran into him two months ago," Kara quips before taking on a more serious tone, "He convinced me to come see you."

"Guess I owe the old coot one," Adama chuckles into his glass. "Having the two of you around is going to make retirement a lot more hectic and enjoyable."

"You can't tell him." Kara finally blurts out the words she's been trying to hold in for so long. "Lee cannot know."

Adama nods, but he has to ask the question, "Why not, Kara?"

"He doesn't love me," Kara responds brokenly.

Lena seems concerned at the sound of her mother’s voice, but after receiving a reassuring smile she returns to her cartoon and the two adults lower their voices.

"I know my son, and he does love you. Lee told me he loved you the day I retired, asked me to look for you and make sure you were well." Adama cannot fathom how two lovers can be so fraked over by the stars and each other.

"Lee does not love me. Otherwise there is no way that crazy fraker would have tried to mess with my flight status." Kara's anguish is clear, "He didn’t want me around. And I won't have him coming back and staying for Lena and then leaving and hurting her-"

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Concerned about the conversation across the room, Lena's worried voice carries across the living room.

Closing her eyes, Kara responds in a steady voice. "Nothing, baby."

"I'm not a baby, mom." Lena walks over while rolling her eyes. The young girl sits down next to Kara on the coach and sinks into her side. “I can help with whatever is wrong.”

Adama has always wished that he had been around the boys when they were younger. The intimate scene in front of him is only a slim peek into his sons’ childhoods that he had missed. Mentally, he entreats the gods that Lee will not experience the same absence.

In the late evening the excitement of the day began to exhaust everyone. Lena had gained a grandpa that was hers alone, Adama regained a family, and Kara let go of some of the guilt for keeping the secret. The Admiral persuades them to stay the night, since it is a couple hours commute to their home. Impulsively, Kara decides to spend the night at the Adama residence and places a call to Lacey. The two women kept close tabs on one another, as it was safer for the two of them to band together on the new planet. After a quick conversation, Kara had to place Lena on the phone so she could brag to Jade about have a “real grandpa.”

It takes an hour to settle Lena into bed, ecstatic as she is about having a grandpa to call her own. Kara could only smile as Adama was obviously relishing every moment of fussing over Lena. After finally soothing the toddler to sleep with stories of the great Starbuck viper pilot exploits, Kara and Adama retired to the living room.

"Do you have blankets so I can make up a bed on the couch?" Kara asks while glancing around the room. The paneling of dark wood in the living room reminds her of the study at the previous Adama residence in Caprica City before the fall.

"I'll show you to the linen closet." Adama gestures for Kara to follow, "I guess we know whose personality Lena tends to mimic."

Kara can only nod in response, drained from the apprehension of today and relief of how smoothly it went with all parties.

As Kara finishes making her bed, Adama asks, "Are you tired?"

Feeling exhausted, but sensing that something is important. Kara leans back slightly on the couch, "A little, why?"

"We should finish our conversation." Adama says while settling into an armchair facing the larger blond joy of his life.

"I don't want Lee to know-" Kara begins emphatically.

"Lena is family, because you are family. However, Lee does deserve to know. She is his child." Adama interrupts with a hard stare and is silent until Kara nods her acknowledgement of his words.

At Kara's acceptance, Adama continues on, "I won't deny that seeing my son and his daughter would add great joy to my heart. However, the most important thing, Kara, is you understand that my son loves you with every fiber of his being."

Kara's heart feels an old pain at these words. More than anything in all the worlds Kara would love for Lee to be a father to Lena and a husband to her. If it were only her heart to break, Kara would chase Apollo down and beat him until he admits his love to her. Unfortunately, the Gods' gift of Lena will be hurt when Lee decides to leave Kara. Kara will not be able to handle having her daughter resent her, and secretly she is afraid of becoming bitter like her mother. It's this concern for Lena’s wellbeing that has Kara launching into her familiar denial of how and why Lee does not love her.

Adama doesn't bother to listen, because he knows Kara is not ready to give up her denials. While she is launching into her usual spiel of reasons that Lee does not love her, Adama walks over to the liquor cabinet and pulls out a simply carved mahogany box that were out of sight behind several tall bottles of various alcohols. Settling next to rambling Kara on the couch, Adama presses the box into her hands and begins to speak.

"When I retired, Lee asked me to look for you and for me to give you this box. I don't know what is in it, but I know that it is the most precious thing Lee could give to you and it contains his love for you." Adama covers Kara's hand with his own hand over the box; "Zak made this box for his hero-worshipped older brother in high school woodshop. It's the last piece of Zak that Lee had in all the worlds."

Adama retreats to his room, leaving Kara alone with the box. Knowing she should sleep cannot combat to explore and dip into this treasure trove. Running her fingers over the edges, Kara notes that the mahogany has been painstakingly sanded smooth and flawlessly stained. The lid of the box has a delicately carved pattern of the twelve colonies' orbits filled with stars of various sizes. Kara can feel the love painstakingly poured into every inch from one brother to another and what a sacrifice it must be for Lee to give up such a wonderful treasure from Zack.

Gingerly opening the top, there is a stack of envelopes nestled in the box. Each envelope is addressed to Kara in her various incarnations over the last decade and change.

The first is to:

Cadet Kara Thrace

Dorm 552-KG

Picon HQ Flight School

Fleet Headquarters, Picon

The last is to:

Kara Thrace

(no address)

For Kara, having no contact or information on Lee for years has been a type of self-penance. Unable to deny savoring at least one letter, Kara carefully opens the seal of the first letter to find it dated almost sixteen years ago.

Dear Ms. Thrace,

I hope you do not believe that I am being too forward or that I am some type of stalker, but I would like very much to get to know you better. You and I met very briefly at last month's first-year viper pilot mixer. I was wearing a dark blue with white pinstripe collared shirt and khakis. You were gorgeous in a red tank top and cargo pants. I had every intention of complimenting your appearance that afternoon, but was distracted when you launched into a colorful diatribe of the current Mark V fuel consumption during inner-atmosphere maneuvers.

Your analysis of the mechanics of the situation is very refreshing and definitely thorough. Have you thought of submitting a white paper on the subject to the fleet? I checked and there are no current studies. Your work would be ground breaking and definitely a spotlight for War College fast track. If this may appear to be too much hassle I would love to help you with the research and submission, of course your analysis and breadth of knowledge would be guarantee of the first byline.

However, a possible joint paper and my respect for your inherent understanding of the Mark V is not the main purpose of my note. I would very much like to get to know you better, in any manner you deem appropriate. Dinner in a large group or a lunch between the two of us would be a great desire of mine. Please let me know what would be appropriate, as I would not want to overstep my boundaries for my respect of you as a woman and pilot.

Sincerely,

Cadet Lee Adama

Lee Adama is hot.

jhannise@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:28:35 GMT

I'm rewatching the series as I rewrite fic, and man. I just realized how great Lee's ass looks when walking down the stairs of Kara's apartment. Very different then Leoben walking down those stairs.

Prequel. Belly of the Beast

jhannise@gmail.com — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 01:41:53 GMT

I just realized I had the prequel on a privacy setting the entire time!

Just opened it up. I hope some of you enjoy it!

Fic: Sequel to Belly of the Beast

jhannise@gmail.com — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:06:19 GMT

Title: [No title yet] K/L [T/M] 1/?
Author:jhannise
Rating: eventually M
Warnings: DARK: violence, sex, and all the other fun sins
Spoilers: ALL of S2
Pairing: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee
Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be a happy woman.
Summary: My speculation based on the LDYB2 Spoilers.

A/N Thank you to everyone who loved the first one back in 2006. I hope people still like it, despite going very non-canon at this point.

It gives me a little squeal of joy that I guessed a few things right three years ago. :)

This story picks up seven years after the first installment- there will be flashbacks.

Lee did one smart thing, he didn't put the child's heritage into the report.

Cylons do feel grief; in fact they are textbook about their reactions. The minute it was discovered that Kara Thrace-Anders and her baby were no longer amidst the fleet- the cylons launched into an unbelievable bitch fest. At first there was denial, as the cylons tore about each ship in the fleet looking for the prophesied mother and child. Anger followed swiftly, where they almost killed both of the Adama men. It was only the hope that Kara may one day contact the Admiral or Commander that kept the two men alive. The cylons couldn't understand what would suddenly make Kara run, but they began broadcasting to her in space. The cylons gave her carte blanche in bargaining, in case it was them that caused her to run. In the end, space kept its secrets.

7 years later

Delphi – Kara Thrace's apartment

Eight stepped into the depilated apartment with a small thrill, this is where Kara Thrace used to live: drawing, fraking, dreaming, and all the things that made her so special. Her model had the honor of making the weekly pilgrimage to the apartment in hopes of gleaning more information regarding Kara Thrace. The disappearance of Kara and her child seven years ago was a blow to the cylon civilization, since then they had worked with the fleet peacefully in re-establishing the twelve colonies in hopes that Kara and her child would return home. Running her hand over the murals, Eight wished for the millionth time that she could connect with her sister, Sharon, to know the welfare of Kara and the child.

Stepping around the apartment, Eight's eyes fell to a framed picture of Zak, Kara, and Lee Adama. Just seeing Lee Adama's face made Eight's vision go slightly red, it is no secret that the most hated man by both cylons and humans is the former commander of the Pegasus. The cylons had decided to let Kara's apartment to remain untouched- except for the necessary maintenance and upkeep, but any reminder of Lee Adama still brought up bitterness, rage, and hatred. When the report became public knowledge, Gina almost beat Lee Adama to death only stopping when Leoben pointed out that Kara does love Lee and his death would only push her further away. Eight is lost in her musings until she feels the cold muzzle of the gun against the back of her head.

"Hi, Boomer." The voice is cracked and rusty from disuse. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Mr. Adama," Eight's voice is cold as she controls the urge to turn around and slowly torture him to death. "What do you want?"

"Your attention," Lee's voice is harsh, but there is a tinge of desperation that lurks underneath. "I know where she is- at least, I am pretty sure that I know where she went after leaving the fleet."

Eight feels her heart stopping at his words. This could be a trick, but Lee Adama has been hiding for over six years and his appearance must be triggered by something big.

"We love her, she knows we love her." The Eight can't help but think- unlike you. And the disgust towards this human saturates her voice, "Why would you be able to find her when our entire network can't?"

"Because I have nothing else to live for." There is no self-pity in Lee's voice, just a rawness that comes from speaking the truth.

Turning around, Eight ignores the gun for there is no fear of death. If she downloads, then she can more quickly alert the others that Lee Adama has returned. "Some of us want to kill you, slowly and painfully. Others want to give you to the humans to kill; Kara had many friends amongst the humans. Many who still swear vengeance against you and blame you for her leaving."

Lee doesn't flinch at these words, he has internalized that he has forfeited his life long ago. Lee's father and the crew of Galactica loved Kara and he had damaged her. Lee has no allies. "I love her."

Eight can't resist backhanding the frak-head, "And they say the cylons are fraked up. We don't claim love and destroy what we hold dear, at least not in the same breath."

It’s obvious that Lee hasn’t been taking care of his health, as he drops to the floor with little flourish. Boomer feels disgusted as she pulls out her wireless to contact the others. While waiting to be connected, Boomer decides to kick him a few times in the ribs- just for the sake of knowing he’ll have a bit of pain from her when he wakes up.

***

For the prologue.

Title: The Belly of the Beast
Author: jhannise
Rating: M
Warnings: DARK, DARK, DARK, DARK, attempted rape
Spoilers: ALL of S2
Pairing: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee
Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be having a threesome.
Summary: My speculation based on the LDYB2 Spoilers.

A/N Thank you to Kim who put up with my many, many BSG ramblings.

Yes, I read the disclaimers...

Music Vid

jhannise@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 08:14:17 GMT

This summer when I actually get a life...
I'm going to do a vid using Yah Yah's Maps.

Of course, I feel like a retard right now, because instead of doing accreditation paperwork it took me forever to do a lj cut on the previous post... even though I knew how to do them years ago...

All This Has Happened Before, But Will Not Happen Again 1/?

jhannise@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:36:20 GMT

Title: All This Has Happened Before, But Will Not Happen Again

Author: jhannise
Rating: T that will evolve to M
Warnings: Angst, Betrayal
Characters/Pairings: Kara-centric
Disclaimer: Don’t own them; otherwise I could smack Lee for the finale
Spoilers: S4.0
Word Count: About 1846

A/N This was written during the hiatus, I thought I made it angsty- but after what they did to our Kara in S4.5... well, I hope it's not too bad of a read. artemis_90 Thanks for the compliments - I hope you like it.

Upon arriving at this dead world, Kara has felt like there was a veil separating her from the rest of the world. The distance works well, as the culmination of confusion and emotions from the last few months has taken a toll on her being. An epiphany comes with the growing distance between Kara and the rest of the world. Kara decides she must follow one of her undeniable talents- she is going to survive.

A critical part of survival is knowing what plans the enemy has made in the wake of the devastation. The armistice between the colonials and rebel cylons were based on finding Earth. Now that Earth is a nightmare, there is no direction for traveling- both physically and politically from this crux.

Kara waits- half hidden behind twisted and sinister remnants of a civilization. Her instincts lead her to believe that the cylons will have a meeting. Kara’s best bet is to tail one of the Final Five, and Sam seems to be the easiest target- she knows his mannerisms well. Or at least she knows his programmed mannerisms well. Time has seemed elastic after returning to Galactica from her initial trip to Earth. It takes a shorter time then she expects for some of the players to gather for a clandestine meeting.

A sliver of a smile graces her face as she sees Deanna, Leoben, and Sam arguing in whispers.

Sam is venomously glaring at Leoben. Leoben is pleading to Deanna. Both seem to be antagonistic towards Deanna. Kara leans a bit closer to hear more snippets of the conversation.

“After New Caprica-“ Sam is cut off from finishing his sentence as Deanna intersects.

“We understand that brother, it is time that cyclons be awarded their due. “ Deanna states calmly.

“Then in that case, it would be my turn to try to kill you.” Sam sneers at the woman’s hypocrisy. He still hasn’t forgiven her for trying to kill him in the collapsed garage on Caprica.

“This has all happened before, and will happen again. She is meant to be-“ Leoben attempts to reassure both parties fails, and just serves to irritate the other cylons.

“She’s a person, she is HUMAN. She doesn’t – frak- there is no destiny-“ Sam is overcome with fury and moves stalks towards Leoben with the intent doing serious bodily harm. “All you did was frak with her mind.”

Deanna interjects as she smoothly slides between the two men, “Sam, Kara is your wife. Leoben will stay away from her. And she will remain with you.”

Sam looks at Deanna with a bitter smile. “Leoben better stay away- if Kara doesn’t murder him, I will. And as for Kara staying- there are other humans who could replace me.”

Deanna just smiles, a bit short of a sinister smirk. Uncomfortably, Sam looks away from her visage. As disgusting is the idea of Deanna “helping” to eliminate human distractions- a tiny sliver of him enjoys the selfish idea.

Kara has not gained any information from this stupid cylon meeting. It’s apparent and obvious storylines: Leoben is crazy and obsessed. Sam is still yearning for her, regardless of his own survival. And Deanna is a hypocritical bitch. Restraining herself from snorting, Kara wonders if the cyclons realize how transparent they are in conveying emotions towards herself.

“All this has happened before, and will happen again” a unknown male voice intones in her mind as she decides to stop eavesdropping on the conversation. Kara is bitter at the thought of cycles and the constant destruction that it leaves in the wake of each turn of the wheel.

Quietly moving from her hiding spot, the last few hours waiting in the cold and dark has revealed little. At least there is the thought that life continues- if only because her stomach is calling out for nourishment. Kara knows a bowl of hot noodles on Galactica will help the hunger and comfort food is always great after finding an irradiated planet. Picking up her pace, Kara listens to the disconcerting silence over the dead world- the crunch of the death being disturbed by her boots.

As Kara moves towards one of the last raptors heading up, she shivers at the rapidly darkening sky. As if the staleness of the air, the ugly complexion of barren soil, and the building falling to decay are littering the skyline was not sinister in its own respects- the quickly gathering wind blows a pang of cold much deeper then the physical level.

As Kara passes a copse of broken buildings, she listens carefully at seeming whispers upon the wind. Morbidly, Kara wonders if this annihilated world created tormented souls- tormented enough to speak their words to mortals from the depths Hades. The wind is blowing about her strongly and the warmth of a raptor is tempting Kara to not veer from the dimly lit path.

Upon a tugging of her instincts has her following a possible voice into the pitch darkness. At the thought of willingly and solitarily going deeper into the dark of this devastated planet, Kara began to wonder about her own sanity. Following the sounds on the wind, Kara is surprised that the sounds do belong to people. The howl of the wind has almost covered the voices, as two men attempt to keep their tones hushed. A quick glance makes it impossible to see the faces of those conducting a dialogue. Fortunately, there is no need to see the faces of the two men huddled together as they speak in hushed tones.

Kara has lived with both men in close capacity for years; it is only natural to pick out their profiles even with the lack of light. The shorter man with unkempt hair is easily identified as Lee Adama. And the taller man can only be Karl Agathon. The two men are friendly, but not to the point of having secret rendezvous. Briefly Kara wonders if the two of them wandered so far from the others for some lustful privacy. After the quick thought of who would be the dominant one, Kara feels a bit more alive as a small smile emerges at the thought of Apollo and Helo sexing each other up.

Although it would seem natural to approach the two men, Kara holds herself back. Her probably course of action would be to eavesdrop or engage them in a conversation. Tonight, Kara realizes that she does NOT want to know what or more likely who they are discussing. The slow wear of years of war, the hostilities of the past few months and the shell of the thirteenth colony fills Kara with weariness. Kara’s body is tired, her soul is tired, and returning to Galactica can only help.

Calling to the two friends, Kara tries to catch their attention. Putting a hollow bravado into her tune and pitching her voice to travel the distance, Kara shouts “Hey twiddle dee and twiddle dum! The last raptor is leaving soon, better get on it! Otherwise you’ll stay down here and I’m going to rob your lockers.”

Helo doesn’t even seem startled at Kara’s sudden presence. He just waves in her direction and he begins to walk towards her. “Twiddle-dum reporting to duty, sir!” Helo’s words are jovial, but the strain in the voice belies the underlying current of emotional exhaustion.

On the other hand, Lee looks at her stupidly, scratches the back of her head, and babbles some non-coherent information. Distantly, she wonders why she is transparent to Helo and why Lee is so transparent to her. Obviously, Lee’s reaction makes her realize that the topic of discussion was about Kara Thrace. Biting back a sigh, Kara figures that she will deal with that fallout after restoring some of her emotional and physical reserves by servicing her base needs: washing the dead air from her body, grabbing enough sustenance to continue surviving, and sneaking in sleep between disturbing dreams. Taking a quick look over her shoulder, Kara continues towards the waiting raptor- making sure the two men are following her.

Helo and Lee trail behind her at a steady pace. Neither man took the time to turn towards each other, but both are walking in contemplative silence. Kara feels overwhelmed at all that has happened today, and doesn’t even bother to probe the situation. In the raptor, Kara feels a bit more sheltered from the wind and a bit more at ease in the familiar surroundings of the raptor cabin. Feeling, more than seeing, the last two occupants enter the shuttle. The seat dips a bit as Helo sits next to her on the bench and folds his large frame across the back of the raptor. Lee takes a seat opposite of them

Again, Kara tries to muster some of the infamous Starbuck snark. “Why must you take up all the room? Why’d they grow you so big?”

“You can do better than that backhanded insult, Starbuck. And as for room, your ego takes up most of the raptor. I can’t compete against that amount of mass.” Helo answers in an equally hollow attempt at normalcy.

Seated across from them, Lee looks frustrated. “Can’t you two take anything seriously? We arrived in a version of Tartarus-“ Lee blurts out only to be cut off by Helo.

“We get it, Lee. We get it.” Helo looks at Lee with a look of weary contempt. “At least we aren’t wallowing in self-incrimination and misery.”

Kara has rarely seen Helo be nasty towards any individual, despite all the frak all he has experience since the fall of the colonies. Lee looks pissed, but bites back from responding. The way the vein on Lee’s head is ticking, Kara idly wonders if he is going to have an aneurism. Oddly, Kara feels a bit warmer by Helo’s loyalty and leans in closer to his warmth.

Right before the raptor is about to take off, Sam squeezes himself in the remaining cabin room. The four share a nervous moment of tension before Helo extends the comment, “No basestar?”

Sam looks scared, as if the three occupants will toss him out of the raptor- after breaking atmosphere. Clearing his throat, Sam looks at Kara in a hesitant manner. “My home is with Ka- Galactica.”

Kara looks at Sam with apathy. Lee looks at him with a mixture of jealousy, hate, and pity. Helo feels frustrated with the entire situation. “Sit down. And shut up. We’ll let the admiral sort this out.”

The raptor continues to travel closer to Galactica. In the back of the raptor, Kara thinks of nothing- exhausted by the recent events. Closing her eyes, Kara draws up some strength to deal with the angry disappointment of the crew between the hanger bay and the senior officer’s bunk. If Kara was disturbed by the tension, she had yet to show any signs of agitation. Although lost in their own thoughts, each occupant would occasionally give her a worried look. A quiet Kara was a disturbing thing, and none knew how to deal with this fragmented woman.

A vid or two or a gazillion

jhannise@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:35:14 GMT

I'm trolling for good vids- it's hard because I'm not very open minded about music that is not my own.

I freaking forgot how fraking awesome Kara is in viper battle scenes.

There should have been one last viper battle that showed Starbuck and Apollo fraking in the sky.

Just briefing through older videos, I think I realized a few things- that LatteAddict might want to weigh in on...

I think Lee likes to call her "Kara Thrace" during important key moments. I think it's because he is trying to remind myself that she never made "Kara Adama" by Zack and that she never even considered going by "Kara Anders." I think if they did marry- there is no way he would push for her to have the Adama last name, because in his mind- that name would come from Zack.

It almost seems that Lee is the most attracted to Kara when her hair is short. (I bet he loves her anyway he can have her.) But it definitely seems that he is a fan of the shorter hair. I think it may be because it defines her even more then his "trophy" girls in his life that have often had long flowing hair. I think it's also because Kara is often more in her element with her short hair, and that is what Lee loves so much about her. (This also involves the fight part of their frak/fight attitude.)

I agree with some of the fandom, I strongly believe that the loss of Lee's smile upon meeting Kara Thrace because that's when he goes "OH FRAK- it's my soulmate and she's Zack's" and that Kara herself doesn't catch unto that until later.

Kara/Lee

My personal favorite http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krTs2hByOfQ (they took out the audio! I have a downloaded copy if you are interested :)

Super Awesome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSiyRxp2R1c&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvxvo2DvxEg

Mainly Kara Centric- cause that's who I love... Apollo is an accessory to Kara. (if some

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtqGJeGYS-0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgYUoTWTAKc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4jDf2qlRRo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1bRQ8SRyZo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12rvtMUJuM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVpKuBROK30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DhY65Q89Q0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOt2VmW5jZM&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1cZndH0kZs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgYUoTWTAKc

A Sam/Kara one- because if nothing else, that guy is not afraid to push back and man- he loves her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7n0_cyocWA&feature=related

I know that Sam has never made Kara feel less then anything but love, his Tory thing was when he thought she was DEAD.

Lee runs from her... to Dee, puhlease?

An odd one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0pGfieGPW4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsEWkwJuhpc

I'm sorry for lurking!!!

jhannise@gmail.com — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:26:52 GMT

It's been a few years, since I've stopped posting and gone to lurking... that doesn't mean I have stopped writing fics (in my head). It's just work has been consuming every fiber of my life... right now we're doing accreditation for the school, and my speech and debate team, and my course work to gain another credential, etc etc etc....

Anyway, enough excuses...

The finale was depressing, but honestly- it was more then any of us expected- and I liked the opening it gave us to explore...

Now, I doubt anyone actually has me on a friend's feed or remembers who I am... but anyone want to beta?

I'll finally do what I should have been doing for awhile... but we need to keep the fandom going at crucial moments like this!

kara_thrace always has the best stuff

jhannise@gmail.com — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:44:48 GMT

Stolen from kara_thrace

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23^®

HA HA HA

jhannise@gmail.com — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 09:19:10 GMT

Couldn't resist stealing this from kara_thrace

In 2007, jhannise resolves to...

Find a new latteaddict.
Overcome my secret fear of kara_thraces.
Keep my bsg_rp_apollo clean.

It's all true, latteaddict's fics and insights are a necessity in my life and ... I devour her fics with a religious basis that is scary (insomnia at computer, I start typing her lj and abelard's... I need more... not replace latte... just need another latte... where's maevenly?

Fic: Her Wedding K/L [R] 1/1

jhannise@gmail.com — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:40:12 GMT

Title: Her Wedding
Author: jhannise
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex
Spoilers: ALL of S2
Pairing: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee
Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be having a threesome.
Summary: My speculation based on the LDYB2 Spoilers.

A/N A prequel to Belly of the Beast, thank you to lemon_pulp and rabid for betaing. Rumor says a sequel is wanted?

Kara's wedding dress is a beautiful confection of sunny tulle and lace. The beautiful and feminine dress perfectly complements her embracing happiness and womanhood. It is a tranquil ceremony in the artificial sunlight and grass of Cloud Nine; the couple makes the scene beautiful and effervescent. Kara's golden hair sparkles like spun gold while she twirls in the arms of her handsome, adoring husband. The viper pilots tease Kara for becoming domesticated, but she simply tilts her head back in genuine happy laughter. The Admiral calls a toast to celebrate his daughter's marriage.

The observation room smells like dust and old sex. This is where quick fraks to illicit love affairs take place. The room is dark; there are few stars in this region of space. Darkness from space seeps into the room, sucking away all illumination. The carpet is rough beneath his skin. Lee presses his face to where they had lain the night before. Closing his eyes, Lee breathes deeply as he tries to conjure every memory in fullest detail. Lee needs to imprint every sensation to memory.

Kara is the last person Sharon expected to desire a traditional wedding. Sharon giggles at the sight of Kara Thrace in a traditional yellow wedding dress. Love has softened Kara and this is her day. There is no unease or hesitation as she excitedly moves about in her finery. Kara sits in front of the vanity as Sharon begins curling her hair. The women's chatter is excited, anxious, and happy as they prepare Kara for her wedding.

Kara's cryptic message brought Lee to Galactica's remote observation room at 2300 sharp. Entering the hatch, Lee's breath draws in sharply. Illuminated by starlight, Kara looks ethereal. Kara is standing firm, but the starlight softens the edges similar to how she looks in his dreams. Drawn closer to her, Lee is afraid to touch Kara fearing that this is only a dream. There is no need for words, because he reads love in her gaze and feels tenderness in her caress. As if sensing the need for confirmation, Kara gently touches her finger to his lips for silence before closing the distance in an embrace.

Sharon is due to arrive any second, but there is one part of the wedding preparation Kara wishes to cherish alone. Using the full-length mirror, Kara carefully begins to pull on her wedding dress. The dress is fragile and Kara is careful not ruin it in her eagerness. The underlying silk coolly caresses her skin as the dress slides up her body. Kara slowly pulls up the side zipper, enthralled by how the dress forms to her body in the mirror. When fully fastened, the dress is gorgeous. Kara feels beautiful and worthy. The dress molds to Kara's body as if it were made uniquely for her. The dress feels right, even more right then a flight suit.

Previous encounters with Kara had a competitive and frantic context; this embrace contains a different feel. The touch of Kara's skin is electrifying and connecting as Lee feels her love for him. It is a circuit, the love travels from Lee's heart to Kara's and back again. Just as the touches are gentle and steady, the connection between the two grows stronger as they pour love into one another through their actions. Kara's hands are gentle as she unbuttons Lee's pants. Lee's caress is reverent as he slides her tanks over her head.

Running a gentle hand, the textures of tulle and lace give a physical manifestation of Kara's feelings. The tulle is soft and silky to the touch. A fine, light and beautiful material for princesses, spun from the fantasies of little girls. Dreams of princes and happy homes Kara had as a child-- Aphrodite has granted to come true today. Kara knows she is blessed to have found true love and to marry this morning.

Lee has never felt more content and happy in his life. Kara's hair is softly tickling his shoulder as he kisses her endlessly. Lee can feel the soft, intense pressure of her fingers pulling him closer. The feel of her breath as Kara whispers his name is enough to bring Lee to joyful tears. The heat of their entwined bodies is all-consuming as Lee thanks the gods for her love. There is no need for words as soft kisses murmur passion, love, and devotion. When they are both bare before each other, Lee thanks the gods again for granting him such bliss.

The body of the dress is tulle, but an empire style bodice overlay of lighter colored lace partially conceals and enhances the sunshine. Kara runs a worshipful finger over the lace. The gossamer threads creating the lace pattern appear so fragile, but holds strong. The intricate designs dance over each other to create a gorgeous pattern. The feel of the lace under her skin is like her relationship. The bonds were created thinly, but Kara and her intended have forged an intricate web that will hold strong, beautiful, and eternal. The slight harshness of the material reminds her that today is real and not a fanciful dream.

Looking into her eyes, Lee knows that Kara is ready and wanting their union. Gently sliding into her, Lee feels that he has come home. Kara's heat brands him as he slides deeper. The look of ecstasy on her face confirms the feeling. Kara and Lee belong together. A bond that supercedes the Lords of Kobol, for they belong only to each other and no other exists. If love is music, then their joining is a symphony as they find themselves and each other for the first time. Lee is afraid he might break down into tears with the love he feels for this woman and from this woman. At this moment, the universe is only the two of them.

Cally knocks on the door to deliver the wedding dress. It is a surprise that Kara Thrace wants to be married in a wedding dress. Even her fiancée thinks Kara will be appearing in dress uniform to the wedding. A traditional wedding dress is uncommon in the modern world. A traditional bride's dress is yellow to signify purity, honor, and loyalty to the marriage vows. Kara is thankful for Aphrodite's gift of love and it is her pleasure to honor Aphrodite with the traditional dress. Kara is so happy that her cheeks hurt from smiling as she opens the door to receive her wedding dress.

Their lovemaking extends an eternity, and is over all too soon. Lee can only gaze with adoration as Kara dresses to leave the observation deck. When her hand is upon the hatch, Kara turns to give him a tender and loving smile. The next second, Lee is by her side and stalling Kara from opening the door and ending their universe of two souls.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" Lee asks hopefully, his mind shuffling duties to allow a visit to Galactica.

"You better make it to my wedding." Kara's voice is light. "You are part of the wedding party."

Lee's heart is shattering and pain makes him blind. Lee doesn't have the opportunity to look into Kara's eyes for truth. Lee doesn't see her opening the hatch and walking down the corridor. And Lee does not see her tomorrow.

Fic: Belly of the Beast K/L [M/NC-17] 1/1

jhannise@gmail.com — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 06:40:18 GMT

Title: The Belly of the Beast
Author: jhannise
Rating: M
Warnings: DARK, DARK, DARK, DARK, attempted rape
Spoilers: ALL of S2
Pairing: Kara/Anders, Kara/Lee
Disclaimers: If I owned them, I would be having a threesome.
Summary: My speculation based on the LDYB2 Spoilers.

A/N Thank you to Kim who put up with my many, many BSG ramblings.

Kara is not a cylon, but Anders was a cylon. Her wonderful, pyramid-playing, hotshot, loving husband had been nothing more than a cylon. A cylon that took Kara's love and used it. A cylon that loves Kara and whom Kara loves had twisted the love to attempt to create a second cylon-human hybrid. It would have been too much to place Galactica's former CAG in the brig, a bitter and ironic joke to the days of being there for drunk and disorderly. Sharon is still in the secure cell, leaving only one option: the Pegasus.

* * *

Kara Thrace-Anders feels sick. Not in the happy-morning-sickness-because-I'm-finally-having-a-child-created-from-love, but a gut-wrenching, mind-numbing, and soul-rending sickness that permeates every cell of Kara's body. The last woman to occupy this cell on Pegasus was Gina. The gang-raped, beaten, starved cylon Number Six, nicknamed Gina. The cylons are smart, Kara will never part from tangible love and this child is proof of a moment of purest love. Kara will never agree to an abortion. Kara's feeling of sickness is not towards the child that grows within her body or even the cylons' continual plots regarding her, but towards the fleet and humanity.

* * *

President Roslin owes Kara too much and to contradict her own executive order regarding a HUMAN woman would be political suicide. Admiral Adama can no longer look Kara in the eye and has not spoken to her except through unfamiliar officers. The only request that ever comes is for the termination of her child, and Kara Thrace will never, ever terminate a child borne from love. The frequency of each request grows further apart, as does the rift between father and daughter. Kara Thrace has lived most of her life without a parent's love, but she will not live life without her child. The first attempt to forcibly abort the child ripped the fleet apart. Too many were against dehumanizing and ripping away the most precious privilege given to a human woman, and Starbuck had long gained enough supports as a protector of the fleet.

Kara will have her child and that will be family enough. In place of the fleet military, family and friends for the last twelve years of her life, Kara has cylon infiltrators and cylon supporters. Kara is inside the network. The cylons watch her with awe and will protect her and the child to the end of the cylon civilization. Sharon ran from them to the humans and yet a human is fighting tooth and nail to protect the child. Leoben's praises of Kara Thrace has been heard across the colonies and found supporters in all models, besides Six, even before conception of the child. A human has enough love to pray for his soul and that had struck home with the cylons. The Sixes who were resistant to Kara can no longer resist her, if only due to empathy of being in the same cage as Gina had been years ago. The cruelty of humans to do this to one of their own only strengthens their disgust for humanity while propelling Kara Thrace to a revered status. Kara is apathetic towards the cylons and their plans, but if they will help her protect her child then she will follow their plans.

However, only Kara and her child know the secret that will tear both the human and cylon worlds asunder. And given that one group is trying to kill her child and the other nuked the twelve colonies, Kara doesn't care who she sends to hell in a hand basket as long as both she and her child is safe.

* * *

Today is Thursday and it's Kara's favorite day of the week. Thursday is the day they let visitors to Pegasus to see her and her baby. The Galactica raptor comes first in the day and always brings five friends: a raptor pilot, an ECO, and four passenger friends. The first visitor is always Doc Cottle and is her favorite visitor. While part of Galactica's crew, Kara had always hated Doc Cottle's lack of bedside manner and his rough ways. The fact that Doc Cottle's rough ways changed not a single iota: no pity, no softness, and no increased antagonisms due to the situation, tells her something important. Doc Cottle sees Kara Thrace. Not "poor-Kara-who-got-tricked" or "frakking-Kara-who-won't-murder-her-child," but just plain old Kara Thrace who got knocked up. Doc Cottle is her favorite, because he tells her that she and her baby are healthy.

Today Doc Cottle tells Kara, "You'll have a healthy term, you're too frakking stubborn for anything else to happen. I suppose it'll be a safe delivery."

The next visitor is always Helo, abusing his privilege as a raptor ECO to guarantee a visit every week. If anyone understands the situation, it is Helo. After losing his daughter, Helo holds nothing against Kara for her insinuations against Sharon. Helo always brings gossip from the Galactica, tidings from Sharon (who is worried for Kara), and stays for a short game of triad.

Today, Helo is delighted to hear that the pregnancy will be a safe one. After their own encounter, Helo and Sharon have been praying for Kara on a daily basis. He assures her that they will continue to pray for her.

The third and fourth visitor varies by the week. It's whoever draws the short straw, in a winning way, and gets to visit Starbuck. Tucker, call sign Duck, is the first lucky bastard of the week and brings letters from Galactica's squadrons. Most of viper pilots have decided to support Starbuck, regardless of their personal feelings regarding the child. Every week they send letters and some of the other women send what little luxuries they can find, like lotion, to help out. Duck gives Kara all the real gossip, since Helo is still out of the loop. It's the first time she's seen him since leaving the fleet and he surprises Kara with a hug when he leaves.

This week's fourth visitor is Petty Officer Anastasia Dualla.

"Mrs. Anders, Admiral Adama requests that you reconsider your options and terminate the thing growing in you." Dee's voice is neutral, as is her face.

"Go frak the commander." Is the Kara's only response to Dee, wondering if Adama lost his marbles to send Dee on this mission.

Unfortunately for Kara, the angst in that conversation was only a slight prelude to her descent into hell.

According to the schedule of the last three months, the next visitor should be Number 3, D'anna Biers, as the next five allowed visitors come from all over the fleet. Unfortunately, the voice Kara hears isn't the overly sweet tone of Number 3.

"Mrs. Anders," comes a cold clipped voice from the door of her cell.

Kara doesn't need to look up to know who is speaking. Lee Adama has used this tone only once in her memory, after Zak's funeral when he was forced to address his father.

"Get out." Kara's voice is soft, but the underlying anger and menace cannot be ignored.

Instead booted footsteps come closer and suddenly two heavy marines are holding her down while a third puts on both wrist and ankle shackles. Too surprised to fight and afraid of retaliation hurting her child, Kara focuses on a photo of Anders and herself tacked to the wall of her cell while they chain her to the bed.

Lee Adama takes purposeful strides to the photo, rips it to pieces and hands them to the marines as he signals for them to leave. Kara refuses to let Lee see her tears, so she closes her eyes and sits on the bed. Kara can stay silent for hours, as she only gets visitors once a week and she can outwait Lee Adama. It's been about ten minute's estimation in her mind, before Kara feels a blinding blow of pain on her cheek.

"That is for being rude to my human girlfriend, Dee." Lee's voice is no longer one of ice, but of barely controlled fury.

The pain and insult is too much and Kara opens her mouth, "Guess I picked the right guy. At least the cylon never hit me, Anders loves me."

"Your husband never loved you, it was a machine." Lee hisses into her face, forcing Kara to open her eyes on him. "And it's dead. I got to kill it."

"The subconscious transfers and my husband is alive in a new body." Kara is looking at him, but in her mind's eye all she can see is Anders. "He will come for us."

"Good, I'll get to kill him again." Lee speaks softly into Kara's hair, obscenely cuddling her while spewing venom. "I beat it to death, I had its blood covering my hands, and I'm going to enjoy doing that to it over and over."

Kara unwittingly leans into Lee's touch as she forces herself not to gag at the thought. Lee wraps his arms around her while sitting on the bed, in a mocking fashion of a loving embrace. "You are nothing but a cylon's whore. I should let the crew do to you what they did to Gina, let them rape the abomination out of your stomach. For some reason, the Admiral won't let me use the appropriate measures to get rid of the half-breed."

After seeing Gina's prone shape, Kara can only battle the panic and fear rising in her throat. This is Pegasus and Lee is its commander, he could order the gang rapes before Galactica ever heard about it.

Opening her eyes, Kara actually sees Lee for the first time. "Why are you doing this? I've been in your brig for four months. Why now?"

Lee's only response is to begin kissing Kara despite her struggles, straddling and holding her down with the superior position and weight. Kara can feel his erection through their clothes as Lee paws at her breasts and she closes her eyes and prays to the Aphrodite for deliverance. As quickly as the assault begins it ends, and Lee answers her in the harshest tones. "I hate you. I hate you for leaving the fleet. I hate you for marrying Anders. I hate you for having a monster in your belly. I hate you for refusing to remove it and still loving Anders and it. I hate you most of all that I can't get you out of me, I hate you because I still love you and I still want you even though you love a cylon and you have a half-breed in your stomach."

Only after Lee Adama leaves does Kara allow herself to cry.

* * *

Lee's visit marks the end of almost all visits. Doc Cottle still comes every Thursday to check on her, but there are no other visits. No social calls and no entreaties from the Admiral. They change the polarization of the cell windows, so Kara can no longer see out but can be observed from the outside.

Kara does not know that the Pegasus' commander comes down every night and stares into her cell. Kara does not know that Lee Adama broke it off with Petty Officer Dualla the day Dee called Kara "a bitch" when Dee visited her. Kara does not know that Lee looks at her with loathing and love. Kara does not know that Lee traces the outline of her belly and wishes it was his baby. Kara does not know that Lee takes her old idols of Aphrodite and Artemis and prays for it to be his love, not a cylon's, that Kara is holding steadfast.

* * *

Kara awakens with a start as she realizes her hands are cuffed above her to the bed-frame. It's dark and she can't see anything, but she can feel his hands on her bare flesh and smell the overwhelming slam of alcohol on his breath.

"Lee?" Kara is in full panic; his intention is suddenly crystal clear. "Lee, please don't. Lee don't."

"I can't help myself, Kara." Lee mutters drunkenly as he slides a rough hand between her legs, "I need you, I can't get you out of my head, out of my heart, out of my blood."

Kara is reduced to begging; she instinctively knows she cannot physically win. Appealing to Lee as a friend, almost sister, ex-colleague is a desperate move, but Kara knows that if this happens her soul will die. "Lee, you don't want to do this… please don't do this…."

"Shut up." Lee is leaving wet, sloppy kisses all over the side of her face, as he shoves roughs fingers into Kara's dry passage. "I need you. You are to me, as Lesbia is to Kataris. A married woman, I am obsessed with… one that I need, that I love with every fiber of my being, and whom I hate for not choosing only me."

Kara can hear the truth in Lee's words, but needs to move him away from her. "If you do this Lee, you will destroy anything good of the last time we were together."

"You mean that frak on the observation lounge the night before you married him?" comes the harsh laugh as Lee bites hard on Kara's left breast. "Where I poured my heart to you, and you married him the next day?"

There's a rustle and Kara's has lived in the military long enough to know the sound of pants hitting the floor. Fear is coursing through ever cell of her body as Kara can feel Lee's nakedness along the length of her body. There is only one card left to play.

"I will never love you if you do this tonight or ever try this again." Kara breathes so quietly; it comes out only as a whisper.

The rate of which Lee dresses and pulls a blanket over her is almost comical. One second Lee is atop of her and the next Lee is treating Kara like a fragile doll. The moment he unlocks the cuffs, Kara has decked him, grabbed the sheet, retreated to a corner, and let the silent tears fall from her eyes.

"How could you?" Kara accuses, "How could you do that to me, to anyone, but to me? Lee, I thought you at least at one time loved me, at least as a friend."

From the darkness, Lee's voice is so desolating, lost, and painful. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

The raw pain and need in Lee's voice is too much and Kara Thrace-Anders can no longer be strong. It is lonely, only seeing Doc Cottle for those brief moments. And Kara can only weep, for herself, for Anders, for her child, for Lee, and for how far Lee and her have fallen. When Lee crosses to her and holds Kara to his chest while murmuring apologies and words of love, she does not have the strength to resist and can only continue crying.

* * *

Kara awakes the next day, clothed and in bed.

"Must have been a hell of a night." The dry voice of Helo is a soothing balm to Kara's soul as she launches herself into his arms and begins sobbing.

"Lee-" Kara tries to tell Helo, "Lee, he tried to-"

"We know. It's okay, it will all be okay." Helo pushes down his rage to hold Kara in his arms, "The frakking bastard detailed a report, the Admiral has him in Galactica's brig waiting court-martial."

"But he didn't-" Kara's attempt at clarification is cut off by the gravely voice of Admiral Adama.

"It doesn't matter, Kara." Admiral Adama is sitting in corner of the cell, "I can't believe my son would- it's been too hard, Kara."

Shocked is an understatement, as Kara has not seen the older Adama since the truth about Anders was uncovered. Attempting to snap at attention, Kara fails while in Helo's protective embrace.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you before this day." Adama continues, "I thought everything was too much. But my son tried to hurt you, Kara. Lee's gone off the deep end. I've lost my daughter to the cylons, there is nothing left."

Kara's crying grows louder and hoarser, realizing she is the daughter Adama lost.

"You're free to go anywhere, Kara. I can't protect you in the fleet; there are those against you. The cylons have offered you a home." Adama sounds like he is chocking on his words.

"I can't go with them." Kara sobs into Helo's arms.

"Yes you can Buck. There's nothing left here and if anything Anders loves you. The cylons will worship your child." Helo's voice is strangled at the thought of losing his last friend.

"But they won't," Kara can only gasp out. "Because Anders never did get me pregnant. I did the math with Doc Cottle. The baby is Lee's…"

And no other sounds were heard in the room, except the sobs of Kara and the tears of Adama.

* * *

Lee is grateful for Galactica's brig. Rumors are always around on a battleship and sending his report through communication channels was a big mistake. Lee's been on the ship less than three days and has already received several death threats from the deck crew and viper squadrons. Obviously, rank only holds so much respect in the light of almost raping your best friend and the heroine of Galactica. Lee doesn't even want to know what will happen when the cylon sympathizers get wind of the situation. Lost in thoughts of self-pity, Lee doesn't realize when the door to the brig has opened and his father walks into the cell.

Noticing his father's boots, Lee keeps quiet. To say Adama was pissed is similar to saying the cylons killed a few civilians. Admiral Adama had never raised his voice or hand against the boys while growing up, even when Zak got caught repeatedly shoplifting at the corner store. Lee's father had backhanded him after reading about his assault on Kara. The quiet rage in the sentence, "This is the first time I almost wish the cylons had got you." spoke volumes regarding the disappointment and disgust Adama had for Lee. In his heart and mind, Lee knows he deserves this treatment. Lee had almost destroyed the women he loves with every fiber of his being.

"Doc Cottle drew a DNA analysis from the amniotic fluid. It was safe to do the test, since Kara is healthy and in her third trimester." Adama pauses before continuing, "He ran the match against my DNA. It was a twenty-seven percent match. Cottle then pulled known samples from Anders, Kara, and you. Your son is only you and Kara, no Anders. Every allele accounted for between the two of you."

Lee continued to look at the floor as the implications of what his father said rang through his head then his heart. It was a small flame of hope; similar to the one that she might someday love him.

"Son, Kara was carrying your baby." Adama says softly.

"What do you mean 'was'?" Lee looks up frantically, "Is she okay, did something happen to her or the baby?"

Letting out a long sigh, Adama took a seat on the bed next to his son. "The cylons would have killed Kara when they found out she was tricking them. And after you almost… after everything that has happened…. The only thing I could do for her was let her go. Sharon and Helo went with Kara, they took a raptor and they're gone."

Lee's eyes are wild as he searches his father's gaze, "But you put a tracer on their raptor. Helo told you their plans. We can track Sharon, you just got her away from the cylons right?"

Adama's eyes are sad, "No, son. I let her go. It's what she wanted."